Nearly 4 months post hip-labrum surgery and rehab has been pretty tough. When they told me 6-12 months recovery, I kind of scoffed and rejected that idea because I was so confident that I would rebound quickly. I was going to be the one that blew the doctors away and made them say “wow, she’s pretty amazing.” And then I wasn’t.
We joined the APEX center here in McKinney and today was my first day back in the gym. I hopped on the treadmill and started to run. I’ve been slowly working my way back and it is extremely difficult, and painful. My range of motion is very limited so my stride is limited and because of that, every step can be painful and I have to run with caution. I ended up running a little over 2 miles non-stop. YEAH!
I have to admit, it was difficult for me to go as slow as I was going especially as I watched other runners running. My drive wanted to increase my speed. My wind was saying go for it. My endurance was saying you got this. But my 51-year-old recovering leg was saying, “please don’t do this to me.” And so, for the first time in all my years of running, I listened to my body.
I admit it wasn’t just my drive and endurance that wanted to speed-up, it was also my ego. I’m an athlete, and I have been competing as a runner for over 35 years, and it was hard to watch other people run faster than me, especially when I knew what I had inside of me. That of course, is my pride.
This has been a season of surrendering my pride, not just as a runner but in all areas of my life. God hates when we are prideful, and He does allow us to go through seasons where we things are stripped away and returned to humility. Those seasons are usually painful, but also wonderful because with humility comes clarity, obedience, and transformation.
I’ve often thought how great it would be to just fast-forward to a place where I am running the way I did, and competing the way I did, but given the choice, I just don’t know if I would take it. As much as I hate this season of recovery and rehabilitation this is the season where I am growing, becoming stronger, learning how to fight and learning to rest. I am understanding true perseverance and determination. I have learned to stop and savor each victory that comes with hard work. I’ve learned to see things that I wasn’t always able to see.
This season, of course, is more than just running. It has been one of the hardest, roughest, scariest seasons of my life and as things are stripped away, they are replaced with not my will, but His.
One of my life verses has been 1 Corinthians 9:24, “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.” Of course, it is that verse, but for the first time, my race is more about a Kingdom purpose and therefore, my goal and prize have become radically different.
Painful seasons challenge us, they push us, and they cause us to reevaluate. I really didn’t understand how much I needed this season.